As I Wrote About Thurber

As I wrote about Thurber, my eyesight weakened. As I wrote about Ross, my ten year-old ulcer reared its head. As I wrote about Winney, I fell into financial disarray. As I wrote about White, my style improved. As I wrote about Woollcott, my waistline increased. As I wrote about Gibbs, I began to sound like Gibbs.

Gotta Be A Spirit, Can't Be No Ghost

Bulworth is a political movie made prior to 9/11. Syriana is a political movie made after 9/11. Bulworth is funny, sometimes hilarious. Syriana is serious to the point of being depressing. The comedic plot of Bulworth follows a traditional storytelling structure. The papery plot of Syriana was soaked overnight in alkali, removed and hung out to dry during a desert sand storm, lit on fire, and finally run over by a Hummer. Warren Beatty wrote and directed Bulworth, and played the lead role. The main character in Bulworth inspires hope, only to be assassinated in the last reel. The main character in Syriana, played by George Clooney, demonstrates the ruthlessness and cruelty of geo-politics, only to be blown to bits by a rocket in the last reel.

The Unskeptical Eavesdropper

It was the fact of overhearing the advice the woman on the bus was giving a friend about a certain homeopathic medication that made the advice seem at all desirable. Had I known the woman and had she been speaking directly to me, I would not have taken her seriously--not for a second. My skepticism switches on only when I am not eavesdropping.

Today's Recommendations

These are the books I recommended to someone who asked me to recommend some books to her today:

Grendel, John Gardner
The Abortion, Richard Brautigan
(any short story collection by) Anton Chekov
(any short story collection by) Raymond Carver
The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison
Hiroshima, John Hersey
A Fan’s Notes, Frederick Exley
The Road, Cormac McCarthy
The Mezzanine, Nicholson Baker
The Book of Laughter & Forgetting, Milan Kundera
Being There, Jerzy Kosinski
Ragtime, E.L. Doctorow
Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut
Cat’s Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut
The Crying of Lot 49, Thomas Pynchon
A Collection of Essays, George Orwell
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Tom Robbins
The Dwarf, Par Lagerkvist
Snow White, Donald Barthelme
Success Stories (short stories), Russell Banks
White Noise, Don Delillo
Cassandra, Christa Wolf

The request was for fiction. For whatever reason, my list includes only two women authors. This bothers me.

Riding My Bicycle Is One Of Those Things

Riding my bicycle is one of those things I love so much that I am reluctant to try and express it in words. It borders on holy rapture. Mountain climbing is another one. And napping on summer afternoons.

Three Things I Have Learned

Three things I have learned:
1) don’t let your rolling papers get wet;
2) if anyone asks you to smell their hand, don’t;
3) only scream if there’s real danger

It Makes No Difference To Me

At dusk, in the park at the end of my block, on any given summer’s eve, the gray squirrels turn into rats. I don’t know why they do this, and I don’t mind. If a squirrel by day would rather be a rat by night, or vice versa, it makes no difference to me.