In Memory Of

We will miss you, Anne, you bright star, you rapscallion, you heavy metal Brooklynite in bangs. I thought you were getting better. You said you were getting better. But now we know you weren't.

You were younger than all of us. Stupid world. Stupid me. I should have called more, but I didn't, and I'm sorry. I hardly wrote you, or even texted you. I never visited, or sent you singing-telegrams. I would have liked to have seen you one last time. Your smile was magical. Cliches abound regarding your beauty. You were in every way beautiful. Mostly, I knew you from work, but it didn't feel like work, because of you. You understood things. You just got it. You were good, and you were good at what you did. I understood the things you said, and I liked working for you.

I always wanted to know you better. You collected belt buckles, and had a rhinestone encrusted telephonic-device like Paris Hilton's before anyone besides Paris Hilton had one. You liked beer, and you wore black t-shirts featuring bands that were popular circa 1981. You loved your family. You drove a hybrid car. You acted the part of the Hippie Flute Player in Buck Nelson Presents: Lifting the Cloak of Mystery Off Rock Drumming, a movie you also produced, and which I will probably never see, no offense to anyone.

I have often been jealous of your close friends, because they were your close friends. But I'm not jealous of your close friends today.

I find solace in thinking of myself as your "close employee," possibly a category of one. Once, a long time ago, you sent me a text message that said "Stop flirting with me. I'm your boss. You can't flirt with me." But here's the thing: I hadn't been flirting with you. I had been texting you something about work. There is a difference between flirting and texting about work. Besides, you told me to stop flirting in a text message, so that's a two-way street, little missy. If you were here, I would bring this up, no matter who was around, and I'd purposely make us all feel very uncomfortable, and I would enjoy every second of it.

But you're not here, and that makes me incredibly sad. I really wish you hadn't left. I miss you already. We will all miss you. We all love you.

We love you! We love you! We love you!